mlk day

i took a walk into downtown portland today
today is Martin Luther King Day
quietly, as usual, i observed and listened the downtown
a bit of depression ran through me today
feeling lonesome again
at least i can justify, not knowing a soul in the city
this city is windy and cold
absolutely perfect for me
i wandered into a mall that had an ice skating rink inside
i stopped and watched
round and round
fall after fall
they always got back up
seeing this made me smile
once i got to thinking
every smile i feel is because of myself
my own thoughts
im far past alone
all that rejection just falls right off me
times like these i say to myself
"thank god for making people and days like this"
Martin Luther King.. Martin Luther King Day.
thank you, because you were such a wonderful person
once again
i smile

peace of mind

i am at a loss of words to begin this poem
i can only see what it is ive been shown
alone not again, but always and still
my peace of mind begins to fill
my heart and soul of lonesome and desire
im only growing older, only to tire
if only a she could have seen
who i am
and what i am about
maybe she wouldve liked me
without a doubt
but i think like an elder
alone on his death bed
as i start to regret
what it is i never said
at least my pen and pad can capture my thoughts
the thoughts of a man who is lonesome but strong
nothings changed
same dance
same song
my significant other
my peace of mind

to Coyne with love

december again
how can i forget all thats done
the twenty second
this month weighs about a ton
this was my favorite month
of all the months that the year brings
but as life continued
i found myself alone and heartbroken

please
remember me for the heart i had
it can live inside you too

i'll never forget, your names not in vain
and i do remember
the last thing that you said
"im taking it easy, i think that you should too"
i'll try, thanks
god bless you

to the end with love

and i know, just who i am
its been told, i got the lower hand
but i know, its not always true
you see, its so much easier for me to be happy than you

all ive got is me
im just one with the sea
and i am completly free

so it goes, and so do i
lord knows, that i tried
whats done is done, and so am i
onto the next town, down the road i drive

all ive got is me
im just one with the sea
and i am completly free

Audrea

hello, my name is paul
i never have much to say at all
you see, im lonely
but im not quite alone
you see, i have many places
that i call my home
too little, too late
story of my life

today was different
as i tried to talk
but as i opened my mouth
the words fell out
straight to the floor
as i walked to the door
life wont change today

i need the guts that i dont have
i want to be happy with who i am

all i know

"i swear, i'll never tell them again"
i wasnt aware writing could get you in so much trouble
i wasnt writing for or about them
but of course, its all about them
i regret my feelings
however, i cant regret putting them on paper

i was so young
and to think, what did i know?
now, i know.

new years

i remember them so well
the new years
where i was
what i saw
at exactly 12:00 midnight
2001-02
phoenix arizona
it was a bit chilly
the horns and firecrackers went off
id gone to bed at 9pm
lights out, covers up
i could hear them
their happiness, their screams
their paper hats and horns
new years eve completly terrifies me
life knows nothing of years

once the horns had stopped
and the firecrackers no longer
it began to rain
and i thought to myself
i will never understand man
but i have lived it through