constant movement

i find myself in foreign places a lot. there is no such thing as home, this i know, but i feel as if foreign places are home more than ever now. i like walking down a street that reminds me of absolutly nothing. it puts peace in my heart. i like the sea, because its never still. restless, like the kind i am. i like watching solid and divided lines pass faster than i can see. it makes me feel free. absoulte freedom. i have this, but with it comes lonesome times. its not a weakness, its a feeling. a feeling that will come and go forever, until the last. it has made me what i am today, so i wear it on my face. the colder the better. i wouldnt change anything for the world.

sea sick

im married to the sea, and have been for years.
i filled the seas up, with all of my tears.
i felt free, with only me, lost out at sea.
but as the years continue to pass, i grow more lonely.
sea sickness is catching right up too me.
its not like i care anyway, shes the only one who cares for me.
left me, im alone.

no such thing as home

its all damn clear now, as the snow disappears,
how much it goes back, all the fears.
to realize at the age of 20, that im disconnected with all
greater disconnection, comes with each of the falls.
i like snow, i like trains, it reminds me of home,
because ive never lived by either, they have grown.
in my ears and in my heart, i love the sound and feel,
i love these things because it is whats truth and real.
there was never, and will never be.
there is no such thing as home.

when i die, its going to rain

when i die, its going to rain
and so will i
i cant seem to stop raining.
i told myself, id rain til the end of my time
but i dont know if its worth it anymore...

untitled #1

Dark skys, im walkin through the dark skys.
Looking down with watered eyes.
With no clue on how to ever get back.
My life, is like a car crash in the sky.
I crashed it in the night, with no friends to pull me from the wreck.

Tired of me, ive grown old and tired of me.
Remember me, when all is lost like my memory.
To all of my enimies, ill love you all til the day i die.

Michael John Coyne

"Far away, The ship is taking me far away Far away from the memories Of the people who care if I live or die StarlightI will be chasing the starlight Until the end of my life I don't know if it's worth it anymore Hold you in my arms I just wanted to hold You in my arms My life You electrify my life Let's conspire to ignite All the souls that would die just to feel alive But I'll never let you goIf you promised not to fade away Never fade away Our hopes and expectations Black holes and revelations Our hopes and expectations Black holes and revelations Hold you in my arms I just wanted to hold You in my arms Far away The ship is taking me far away Far away from the memories Of the people who care if I live or die And I'll never let you go If you promise not to fade away Never fade away Our hopes and expectations Black holes and revelations Our hopes and expectations Black holes and revelations Hold you in my armsI just wanted to hold You in my arms I just wanted to hold" - MUSE

I love you Michael. I know you liked this song "starlight", so everytime i want to kick it with you, im going to listen. I miss you bro, ill never laugh the same. wait for me..

Michael John Coyne
12/14/85 - 12/22/07

December

December 01. ha, 01. its funny how much has changed, but then again, its even more funny, whats remained the same. Try, try some more. But try harder next time. Harder? I dont know how i can try any harder in this life of mine. Ive replaced happiness with cigarettes and booze. Like the drunk man youve seen on the corner staring at the sky. waiting. wishing. wanting. dying. Ive seen it so many times. People who "try", or even worse, people who "tried". I guess you cant accomplish anything by trying, you just have to do it. do it right. not only do you have to do it right, in some cases, you gotta do it right on the first try. I was never good at that. Its always been later when i learn. Ive always been too little, too late. I remember his words well, the man everyone pointed at and called crazy. He said, "man, alive". i thought he was crazy as well, b/c i was too young to know. Too young to see into his eyes. I should have seen the pain watering from his eyes, while he stared at the sky. But its not like that here. Your all you got. No one cares.. so no matter how long you stand in the street, drunk, staring at the sky, nothing can change the facts of whats done is done, and so am i.