education

i remember walking down a dirt road at night. i was in the woods, it was dark. there were tall trees surrounding this road and the only way to stay on the road was to look straight up at the sky, to see where the trees parted. as i continued to walk into the dark, i remember wondering if i was going to make it back to the campsite. i was young then, and became scared. scared of what i could not see. i remember wishing i was with someone, wishing i had a hand to hold in that pitch black night.
that was 9 years ago and sometimes i feel as if im back on that dirt road. feeling as if im still walking. blind, but not deaf. however, i can cope. its a memory that lasts because im still alone. lonely, that is. those 80,000 miles of road let me know that there is much to see and feel, without the help from a friend or that someone. the never ending stare into the sea taught me to never stop. to always keep moving. time and time again, lesson learned. i will be alright. good gets better, and i know the road treats me good.

tucson arizona

you run from familiar arms into their embrace.
i hope they love you like i did, when you needed me
and i came for you that night..

i hate this city

only the deaf find peace.
only the blind wont reach.
i hate this city.
forget the fuck away from me.

untitled

i keep finding myself out very late at night in the backseat of fast swerving cars drunk desperate with horrible music screaming in my ear with a friend who has never really been a friend sandwiched between 2 or 3 nowhere girls listening to them talk about all the pills they swallow for all the problems they have or about all the men they swallow because they are trying to lose weight driving aimlessly around another nowhere cardboard cut-out city looking for "a guy they know that can get some" thinking that i would cut off one of my hands if we could just find him he is nowhere but even if each of these girls had a compass in their cunts and steering wheels for breats and i had a satellite in my brain and a map of this guy tatooed to my cock we would all still be lost.

constant movement

i find myself in foreign places a lot. there is no such thing as home, this i know, but i feel as if foreign places are home more than ever now. i like walking down a street that reminds me of absolutly nothing. it puts peace in my heart. i like the sea, because its never still. restless, like the kind i am. i like watching solid and divided lines pass faster than i can see. it makes me feel free. absoulte freedom. i have this, but with it comes lonesome times. its not a weakness, its a feeling. a feeling that will come and go forever, until the last. it has made me what i am today, so i wear it on my face. the colder the better. i wouldnt change anything for the world.