against all odds

ive roamed through vast wastelands
trying to get "home"
in deserts so hot, a mirage is a constant
temptation tortures your every sight
you better have heart, and a lot of it
if you plan to walk through these parts
the devil tempts the minds that are weak
the hearts that are empty
the ones with a price
most do
men turn to the devil more than we like to admit

i have a heart, maybe too big
demons plagued my mind growing up
making me hopeless, weak and empty inside
as i roamed those wastelands
i would not have blamed myself, if i had given in
i would not have blamed myself, if i gave up
against all odds
i remain i

pogo

from time to time i hear a song i am unfamiliar with
i seem to enjoy it, just because of where its at
its not something i am used to
but fuck what i am used to
" theres something in the air "
i dont know exactly what
but its something
and that something is a lot more
than anything ive ever had,
even if it turns out to be nothing at all.
believe me.

happy 4th

its the fourth
this time im by the sea
everyone is constantly flowing
much like the sea
drunk
happy
horny
none like me
i lack, indeed
its become very clear to me
my body is sore
i am incredibly lonely
but today, i took a walk
down along the beach
i was alone, of course
but i felt so free
as i stared into as far as i could see
what i saw, it warmed my heart
no people
just me
and the sea

my heart, it floats

it was a sunday night
a very cold one i remember
i was in montana
with very little i knew
and very little to do
but shivering the night through
i was walking
lord knows where
as i observed
i even went into a restaurant
to warm up for a bit, i guess
i just got chased out by smiles
and people
totally oblivious that it was fucking freezing outside
but before i left
i vomited in the john
my heart, it floats

on the 81 south, one more time

destination mill and university
on the 81 south
not for your usual
you see, i was 16
i would ask bums to buy me cigarettes
i would tell them, you can keep the change
eastside is where i could be found
no real purpose
i just liked to walk around a city
where theres no one like me
on a rainy day
smoking a cigarette
alone
with nothing
but my thoughts
and pen and pad
i embraced the puddles
while watching everyone avoid them

tread

another day of 115 degrees
this heat drains me dry
its hot as fuck out here
its so damn hot because of all these people moving
i dont understand a damn thing about it
so many people moving so fast
but do they know what for?
i dont think so.
because, i know.

i cant swim forever
nor that well
"tread.."

# 37

i took a walk through downtown
just to feel alive
i sat on a bench by a fountain
smoking a cigarette
watching and learning
just to someday forget.

"dying young leaving a good looking corpse, of course."