time tonight

to change my life
ive got no time tonight
rain, no shine
is more than a familiar sight

and then
the clouds keep rolling in
and i fear that i have sinned
cause i know i can never
win

i wonder what it is that makes me feel so lonely
i wonder what it is that makes me feel so sad
every time i think about it, only one things apparent
i am everything that i have ever had
thats all that i have

39 is my unlucky number

i get my hopes up sometimes
39 times, actually
its because i want what i cannot have
or because i wish for what is lost
i dont seem to get along with the realities of my hope
misguides me
always getting me lost
thats why i push on without it

phoenix

its become ice cold in the hottest city in amerika
everything i built has done more than crumble down
friendships turn into faded memories
as they continue to use amphetamines
while im picking at 6 strings i claim to know nothing about
nothing left but my thoughts of, "what could've been?"
if anything its taught me that im the only friend ive got
if anything, its good to know ive got such a good friend
there would grow a time, and that time has come
where i would be all said for and done
forgotten about from whom it meant most
so i plan to head north
im getting out of this city
and when i do, im going to smile

the young man & the sea

when i was younger, i used to walk along the shore. once and awhile jumping in and quickly out of the ocean, but never too deep. never too deep to where i was off the ocean floor. usually, not too deep at all. but as i roamed miles and miles of shore as a boy, i never got worried that i was lost. i never felt uncomfortable near the ocean. i never even felt the strangers around me. i was a quiet boy, but always thinking. the sea though, it calmed my mind.
at the age of 16, i was roaming the amalfi coast in italy. this was like all the other beaches i had been too to the untrained eye. but this, this was the mediterranean sea. a new ocean to gaze at. i could look down the shore as far as it goes and not see a soul. i sat on the beach, just sitting there. staring into the sea. thinking. writing. dreaming, if you will. it put me completely at ease. i remember, it was in that italian ocean where i first stood up off the beach, and ran full speed into the water. i went completely underwater, but still, not far enough to where i was off the ocean floor.
on my last trip to the coast in southern california, i remember staring into the deep waters of the sea. i remember i began to think about all it is that i just said. and i thought about getting in the water. you know, to where i was completely off the ocean floor. i sat and thought about it for quite some time, as i watched the sun sink into the sea. i decided, i could wait. i could wait for a time when i can take someone hand in hand, and walk together, into the most beautiful setting on earth..
peace//

against all odds

ive roamed through vast wastelands
trying to get "home"
in deserts so hot, a mirage is a constant
temptation tortures your every sight
you better have heart, and a lot of it
if you plan to walk through these parts
the devil tempts the minds that are weak
the hearts that are empty
the ones with a price
most do
men turn to the devil more than we like to admit

i have a heart, maybe too big
demons plagued my mind growing up
making me hopeless, weak and empty inside
as i roamed those wastelands
i would not have blamed myself, if i had given in
i would not have blamed myself, if i gave up
against all odds
i remain i

pogo

from time to time i hear a song i am unfamiliar with
i seem to enjoy it, just because of where its at
its not something i am used to
but fuck what i am used to
" theres something in the air "
i dont know exactly what
but its something
and that something is a lot more
than anything ive ever had,
even if it turns out to be nothing at all.
believe me.

happy 4th

its the fourth
this time im by the sea
everyone is constantly flowing
much like the sea
drunk
happy
horny
none like me
i lack, indeed
its become very clear to me
my body is sore
i am incredibly lonely
but today, i took a walk
down along the beach
i was alone, of course
but i felt so free
as i stared into as far as i could see
what i saw, it warmed my heart
no people
just me
and the sea